“Did I poop on the table?” – It’s a question I still don’t know the answer to, but I will take the silence as a yes.
When I first started pushing, I would not push with “those” muscles. {If you have had a baby you know what I mean.} I didn’t want to poop on the table. After about 5 minutes of pushing, I abandoned my pride and the excitement of the moment took over. My husband Adam has a very weak stomach, so he stayed by my head. Plus, he’s not the kind who can “unsee” things, so best to think that down there in his mind isn’t going to change.
After 10 days past my due date, one overnight induction and a doctor ready to go, Max was safely delivered around 2pm on April 28th, 2014 and I am forever grateful to be a mom.
My postpartum period was not what I “prepared” for. I thought I would be home with a baby sleeping on my breast while I leisurely responded to my team at the office, even though I was out on maternity leave, could I really just “shut down?” – The workaholic in me was coming out.
After a brief stay in the hospital, they made sure Max was secured in the carseat and on our way.
No manual.
No help.
No support.
No village.
My husband, the CFO heading into the office at eBay because it’s month end…and he has to close the books.
There I sat, day 3, alone. My milk still hadn’t ‘come in’ and Max was screaming, despite just nursing he was still hungry and I didn’t know what was going on. The overwhelm, the exhaustion, the isolation, the anxiety. “Where is this village everyone speaks of?” I didn’t have one. Just alone with my little man, taking it minute by minute.
I didn’t realize at the time, but postpartum anxiety was creeping in, along with intrusive thoughts. I wouldn’t go into the kitchen, up the stairs or over the bridge by our house. I was failing at motherhood.
Want the whole truth about postpartum for me, it was nothing like I thought. I loved my son, but couldn’t wait to get back to the life I knew, plus 1 with balance, sleep and a sense of type-A organization. Oh, and I can do without the hemorrhoids that popped up during all that pushing. Those are super. Did you know 40% of women get hemorrhoids after giving birth?
The perfect segway into why I invested in a new short film, “The Hole Truth” – by Alison Whitney and Natasha Goss that I am so proud to be investing in.
Maternal mental health and the realities new mothers face in the postpartum period was the premise for the film, written with a goal of showcasing that despite it being 2024, we are still missing the mark in the space of postpartum care. This short film explores themes of friendship, motherhood, and resilience, all while breaking down the stigma around postpartum recovery.
I was not a “natural” at motherhood.”
Milk didn’t flow like “betsy the cow.”
I couldn’t “sleep when the baby sleeps.”
My mother is dead, I didn’t have a village.
So, each day, I got more exhausted, but tried to be the ‘perfect” {insert role of the moment} – Mom, wife, friend, daughter, sister. I tried to make sure everyone else was good and on the inside, I was crumbling from exhaustion, overwhelm and a lack of confidence in really anything I was doing. Max was sleeping on his back in the crib, that was me winning at mom life.
Fast forward to 2024 and I met two amazing women looking to spread this message far and wide. That’s what drew me to this short film. Finally, two amazing actresses Alison Whitney and Natasha Goss, both with a similar sense of humor {not everyone likes mine….shocker} with a mission to tell a story of postpartum. Raw, real postpartum. Laced with humor and reality of the things so many seasoned and new mothers experience, their stories are never told. This movie changes the narrative. The Hole Truth takes the message and makes it relatable.
“I am so proud of this project. From sitting down to the blank page, to what it has become, makes me overjoyed. As an artist, and as a mother, representing the postpartum period in an honest way, has always been vital to me. I am honored, but not surprised that the brands we have attracted feel the same way. This really is a dream come true.” – Alison Whitney
For me, this investment in this movie marks a significant step for Tiny Transitions as it expands its reach and continues to drive the mission that sleep is the foundation for which the house is built and is crucial in the postpartum recovery period for maternal mental health, challenging societal norms and promoting a more supportive and inclusive environment for all mothers.
“Showing “the hole truth” on screen – the raw, honest truth – is so important because it makes whoever’s watching feel seen. And representation of what’s traditionally taboo through laughter, helps to erase any secret shame and loneliness. That’s what’s most important. We’re all in this together, so why not talk about it!” – Natasha Goss
Other prominent brands feel the same, and I am honored to be alongside Pura, Lullaby Earth, Chicco, Tot Squad, and Lansinoh. These collaborations further emphasize the film’s commitment to supporting mothers and raising awareness about maternal health issues. And for those of you in the thick of it, like I was, take a breath, and let me share a few tips to help you ease the burden of the day – wherever you are on your journey.
Here are five things new mothers can do to help ease the transition into motherhood:
Establish a Routine:
- Consistency is Key: Create a daily routine for you and your baby. This includes regular feeding times, nap times, and bedtime rituals. A predictable routine can provide a sense of stability and help both you and your baby adjust to the new changes.
Flexible Yet Structured: While a routine is important, remain flexible. Babies grow and their needs change rapidly, so being adaptable while maintaining some structure can be very helpful.
Prioritize Self-Care:
- Rest and Sleep: Sleep when the baby sleeps, and don’t hesitate to ask for help from family and friends to get some rest. Lack of sleep can affect your mood and energy levels, so it’s crucial to prioritize rest whenever possible.
- Healthy Eating and Hydration: Make sure to eat nutritious meals and stay hydrated. Preparing easy, healthy snacks in advance can be a great way to ensure you’re getting the nutrition you need.
Seek Support:
- Family and Friends: Don’t hesitate to lean on your support network. Whether it’s for babysitting, cooking meals, or just having someone to talk to, having support can make a big difference.
- Professional Help: Consider joining a new mothers’ group or seeking support from a lactation consultant, a postpartum doula, or a therapist if you’re feeling overwhelmed. Sometimes professional advice can provide reassurance and practical help.
Take Time for Bonding:
- Skin-to-Skin Contact: Spend time holding your baby skin-to-skin. This can help with breastfeeding, soothing your baby, and strengthening your bond.
- Mindful Moments: Take time each day to simply enjoy your baby. Whether it’s during feeding, bath time, or playtime, being present in these moments can help you connect and enjoy your new role as a mother.
Manage Expectations:
- Realistic Goals: Set realistic expectations for yourself and your baby. Understand that it’s normal to have challenging days and that perfection isn’t the goal.
- Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and celebrate the small victories, whether it’s getting through a fussy evening or your baby’s first smile. These moments are important and can boost your confidence and mood.
Transitioning into motherhood is a significant life change, and it’s important to be kind to yourself during this period. Taking proactive steps to care for both yourself and your baby can help ease the transition and make this time more enjoyable and fulfilling. So, if you are reading this, and feel like you need a village, join mine. That’s why I created Sleep Steps, the first ever sleep training membership & so much more. I never want anyone to feel like I did postpartum and after the release of this short, hopefully more people will realize what we are all trying to do here – support you in your postpartum journey, wherever you are, with that you need in the moment.
About the Author
Courtney Zentz, Founder of Tiny Transitions Sleep Consulting, is on a mission to change how the world views sleep and provide accessible sleep coaching resources for all families to build healthy sleep habits in their homes for children of all ages. As an award-winning speaker, author, and Pediatric Sleep Expert, Courtney & her team of sleep consultants work intimately with families worldwide to teach healthy sleep habits to children and adults. She wholeheartedly believes that sleep is the foundation on which a happy home is built.
Courtney is the resident sleep expert for The Mother of All Baby Showers and Prego Expo events nationwide, a frequent contributor to Forbes Newsweek, MindBodyGreen,Naturepedic, NBC, Fatherly, Yahoo, Thrive Global, Romper, Parentology, Create & Cultivate, and Bustle, among other media outlets, and provides mentoring and business coaching to other sleep consultants looking to take their business to the next level.
Courtney resides just outside Philadelphia, PA, with her husband Adam, and two children, Max and Sovella, and has always felt passionate about making sleep & healthy living a priority in her family’s life. Book a Discovery Call with Courtney or her team of Certified Baby & Toddler Sleep Coaches today.
