Last week, I had the pleasure of speaking at the book signing for Kahlmi founder Elina Furman in beautiful Greenwich, CT. As guests arrived, I began speaking with a wonderful woman who was asking if we worked with old children. We sure do, and adults too! It seems the child was struggling with some bedtime anxiety and it’s gotten worse since mom and dad are divorced. What happens at mom’s house and what happens at dad’s house are two different sleep situations & this little boy was struggling with bedtime and calming his mind.
My journey to Tiny Transitions, and becoming a Certified Sleep Consultant happened 9 years ago, and I sometimes forget how much to me seems like “oh, every parent knows this” – but they don’t. She was so appreciative after we chatted and so this is a great chance to share that same information & sleep tips with you since many of my first clients at Tiny Transitions are now 9 & 10 years old! We talk a lot here at Tiny Transitions about a consistent bedtime and routine, which is certainly a great start, but past that, you need some actual tools, many of which we use in our home too, to help your child feel confident at bedtime, so let’s dive in.
- A Zenimal – This little mindset turtle we have used since I found out in 2018 that I had a rare form of stomach cancer. My son developed anxiety that he would wake up and I would be gone. {Good news, I am OK and stomachless, but that’s for another post} Both of my kids every night fall asleep to this. It has 9 meditations written for kids, travels well, stays charged forever, and is exactly what a child can use to calm their busy brain at bedtime.
- Build a Comfortable Sleep Space – Get them comfortable sheets & bedding, a quality pillow, we love the adjustable ones from Naturepedic, and blackout curtains like these, from OtterSpace to protect their circadian rhythm and outside light.
- A Night Light – I don’t love night lights for babies, but I know as kids grow, they can help. My two kids are 8 and 10 years old and love night lights to fall asleep, so I turn them off before bed. I recommend this Himalayan sea salt lamp. I like it because you can turn it brighter at bedtime, then easily dim or turn it off once they are asleep. It’s a soft pink light and makes a great option for babies overnight when you need to go in and change them. My son has a bunk bed, and we use this type of lamp, plus buy a very dim bulb for reading.
- Messages & Affirmations – I use blue painter’s tape to write messages on my son’s bed above him {he’s in a bunk bed} or on my daughter’s wall. I use this tape so I can change them out frequently.
Here are a few ideas:
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- I am strong, brave, and ready for tomorrow.
- I am kind, smart, and make a difference every day.
- I am powerful because I believe in myself.
- I am loved, and I share love with others.
- I am proud of who I am and excited to grow.
You can also make some that help guide their anxiety into a place of happiness, here are a few examples of those. You start the sentence, they finish it.
- I am strong and brave when I…
- This weekend, I can’t wait to…
- I will do my best at…
- I am proud to be…
These are just a few ideas for subconscious things that can help your child feel positive and confident, plus help their mind drift to a good place vs. a bad place at bedtime. I do have this little template too, they can draw something in the daytime, and then you can paste it to their headboard or wall and ask them to think about that when falling asleep.
- A Journal – Sometimes with a lock, sometimes without a lock. Growing up, we had diaries with a little lock you could pick with a paper clip. Ah, the 80’s. The idea though is still a great one. You can pick up one like this with a lock, or just a basic journal at 5 Below where they can write or draw. I tell both my children, that if they have something to talk about with me, they can write it in the journal, and when I see the journal on their bed, I know to write back when they are at school. If they prefer to keep it to themselves but want to get their emotions out, they can use the one with the lock for privacy. Sometimes conversations are easier to be had this way, vs. opening up face to face, especially as children grow.
- Massage & Awesomes – Each night, my kids go to bed with a back massage while telling me their 3 awesome and 1 “not awesome” from the day. It’s a chance for me to connect with them and help them relax as they love back rubs. I also diffuse lavender in their room and keep the lights dim. They tell me 3 things they loved about the day and 1 thing they did not love, and I am often surprised by what they say. This is a great way to connect and calm, even if you can’t do it every night.
While these are just a few ideas for you, I do hope that something resonates with you and your child, to build better sleep for them, and you, because as you have heard me say before, sleep is the foundation for which the house is built.
Prefer to schedule a private session for 30 minutes to talk about this more, go ahead and schedule that here, our mini-sessions are the perfect mini-sleep consultation, for just $99 and are available from me, or someone on the team.
Love this? Be sure to follow @TinyTransitions on Instagram, where we provide tips like this to help you fall asleep independently and sleep through the night, waking rested and refreshed! Thanks for reading!
About the Author
Courtney Zentz, Founder of Tiny Transitions Sleep Consulting, is on a mission to change how the world views sleep and provide accessible sleep coaching resources for all families to build healthy sleep habits in their homes for children of all ages.
As an award-winning speaker, author, and Certified Sleep Expert, Courtney & her team of sleep consultants work intimately with families worldwide to teach healthy sleep habits to children and adults. She wholeheartedly believes that sleep is the foundation on which a happy home is built.
Courtney is the resident sleep expert for The Mother of All Baby Showers and Prego Expo events nationwide, a frequent contributor to Forbes, Newsweek, MindBodyGreen, Naturepedic, NBC, Fatherly, Yahoo, Thrive Global, Romper, Parentology, Create & Cultivate, and Bustle, among other media outlets, and provides mentoring and business coaching to other sleep consultants looking to take their business to the next level.
Courtney resides just outside Philadelphia, PA, with her husband Adam, and two children, Max and Sovella, and has always felt passionate about making sleep & healthy living a priority in her family’s life.
