Episode 161: How to Start Sleep Training + Sleeping Through the Night

Disclaimer: Transcripts were generated automatically and may contain inaccuracies and errors.

Welcome to the kids sleep Show podcast where we dive into the magical world of sleep, and all things parenting. Join us as we embark on a journey filled with expert advice, practical tips and heartwarming stories that will transform your little ones into sleep superheroes, and empower you to navigate the beautiful chaos of parenting. I’m your host, Courtney Zentz. And I’m on a mission to change how the world view sleep and provide accessible sleep coaching resources for all families to build healthy sleep habits in their home for children, and adults of all ages. As an award winning speaker, author and pediatric sleep expert, myself and my team of consultants work intimately with families around the world to teach healthy sleep habits to children and adults. I believe wholeheartedly that sleep is the foundation for which a happy home is built. So let’s sleep together. Hello, and welcome to this workshop making over bedtime. My name is Courtney Zentz, the

founder of tiny transitions and the creator of the sleep Steps program. And my goal for you today is to learn how to help your infant settle independently at bedtime sleep through the night and build healthy sleep habits for life. I’ve been a pediatric sleep coach for almost a decade and worked with 1000s of families all over the world, to bring good quality sleep into the home from birth all the way through adulthood. I have an amazing team, the slumber squad who also works with families all over the country. And we are here to bring quality sleep education to you. And that’s exactly what we’re going to do today. So buckle up, grab your pen and paper and be ready to take some notes because we’re going to dive into all the different things that impact how well your baby sleeps, and what things you might want to be on the lookout for to ensure that you don’t build any unnecessary sleep associations that we’re going to have to break later. Now I’m a big believer in education. So I want to start today with some sleep foundations. After that we’re going to talk all about intake needs and what structuring the ideal day is going to look like we’re going to talk about the sleep environment, then we’re going to dive into the ideal bedtime routine and how to get your child down. Without those dreaded tears. We’re going to talk through sleeping through the night when it’s age appropriate and how you achieve that stop early morning wakings. Never have a sleep regression, and really build consistent, consolidated independent restorative sleep that stays with you for years. So if you’re ready, buckle up. And let’s jump in. First things first, we’re going to talk about sleep foundations because there’s some things that you need to understand for your infant. Now this training is specific to infants. So it’s going to be from birth, through about 18 months of age, around 18 months, your child still looks like an infant, but they’re starting to move into some of the toddler tendencies. And we’re going to cover that age in a different session. Because with toddlers, it’s no longer sleep training its behavior based in many cases. Now, that being said, there is a bit of sleep foundations that’s really applicable across all ages and stages. When babies are first born, they’re actually only in two different stages of sleep, light sleep, or deep sleep. And it’s the only time in their life that they’re in 50% of the time deep sleep 50% of the time light sleep somewhere between three or four months is when a baby moves from stage sleep to cycle based sleep, which we’re going to talk about now. I think a lot of folks who are listening to this who have newborns are pride now probably in that well, baby’s doing all right, they’re sleeping pretty well. And then somewhere between three or four months, you go oh my gosh, is this that dreaded sleep progression I’ve heard so much about or maybe you’re in the thick of it right now. And things are just a bit of a mess. Well, let me explain what happens inside of your baby’s brain, and how good sleep hygiene really comes to fruition. So those first 12 weeks of life, they’re in stage based sleep. And then somewhere between three and four months, their body actually begins to develop the circadian rhythm. So they’re moving from REM sleep all the way through to deep sleep. And they cycle through that multiple times a night. Now what happens is the deepest and most restorative sleep for a baby is actually the first six hours of sleep. So they’re going to start in REM sleep. They’re going to move through the deep sleep and then somewhere around two o’clock in the morning on average, is when things start to go a little bit haywire for a lot of families because babies are in lighter stages of sleep. So typically what happens is they ping pong between rem and stage one sleep. And so the whole back half of the night every 45 to 60 minutes. They’re kind of waking up and going hmm, I’m awake. Okay, well, I need somebody to help me get back to bed because that’s how I know to go back to bed right? If kids are void of the ability to independently settle, they don’t recognize they are missing the skill. So they’re looking for you for help. And that’s why many of you are probably here. But that’s the reason as to why it happens. Now let me explain some hormones REM sleep because it’s equally important you understand this, frankly, for the rest of your life. So first and foremost, when you wake in the morning, your brain creates a neurotransmitter called adenosine. Okay, that is what we refer to as the sleep pressure. Okay? So when you’re awake, it’s rising. When you sleep, it falls. When you’re awake, it rises. When you sleep, it falls. Now that’s where awake windows and babies becoming overtired. Right, some of those common words that you hear, are really important to understand. Okay? So what happens is you’ve got your highest levels of adenosine when you’re waking, and then you have this ideal spot, also known as the Wake window where your baby should go down for a nap. Okay? We’re going to talk about wake windows, because they’re really important to understand so that as your baby moves through every age and stage, you’re monitoring it, okay, as a newborn, you’re awake window is 45 to 60 minutes, okay, around three months, it is then extended to be about 90 minutes, around four months, it’s about two hours, around five months, it’s about two and a half hours, and then around six months to somewhere between seven, you go to three hours, and you kind of stick there for about six months. Okay? The reason that’s important and how the rest of the hormones play out, is when you wake in the morning, your body’s making adenosine, well, your body knows that it has to take a nap. So if you’re three months old, for example, you need to take a nap at about 90 minutes. If you take that nap, and it’s consolidated and restorative, great, your adenosine levels fall. But if you take like a five minute power nap on the way to target, your brain thinks you napped and your body’s still really tired. But guess what happens then your adenosine levels start to rise again because you’re awake, and you’re not sleeping anymore. You think you already took a nap even though it was five or 10 minutes in the car. Okay. So the same thing happens with short naps where babies might be used to being supported. So for example, if you only ever hold baby, or you only take baby on a walk, or they eat to sleep right in the second you stop doing that they wake up, well, then the NAPS traditionally get really, really short or really broken. And then by the end of the day, you have a super fussy baby who’s probably not eating well. Bedtime is a nightmare and they wake a million times overnight. Okay. So what happens is the other hormones you have, you have this balance in the day where if you meet the ideal wake window and take a nap, your adenosine levels are falling. However, if you’re at the point where you need to take a nap, but you don’t, right, your brain goes, Oh, well if you’re trying to stay awake. Here’s some adrenaline and cortisol so that it’s stimulants right now try putting an overtired and overstimulated baby down for a nap. Good luck. Okay, well, that’s what happens. And so then by the end of the day, you’re kind of all over the place with where you are and you end up with hormones do your eyes ocularly are going to pull in the notification really, that darkness is coming right your body clock. That’s the circadian rhythm. And so melatonin naturally starts to rise as the sun starts to set, and then throughout the rest of the night, it’ll peak and then it goes down the rest of the night. And between four and six in the morning is your highest levels of cortisol. That’s your baby’s kind of cup of coffee. Hey, get ready to start the day, your body’s preparing to do that. Okay, so your hormones play such a huge role in your baby’s whole first year of life, whether you realize it or not. I think when you hear the term hormones, you’re not necessarily thinking about an infant. And so it’s really important to understand those wake windows are so crucial, because you’ve got to keep your baby balanced. Okay, balance helps them sleep better, both in the daytime and at bedtime and overnight. It prevents early morning wakings, which are many times caused by overtired ironically, and it can cause issues with eating, especially if there’s a prop or association for eating to sleep. Now eating is the next thing I want to talk about because it’s very much misunderstood as to when will a baby sleep through the night and we’re going to talk about that. But you have to understand intake. Okay, your babies born with their belly the size of a walnut and then very quickly, it moves to an egg almost within the first week. And then after that from an egg it goes to an orange, and then it grows throughout the rest of the year. Now, your baby only actually needs the same amount of milk the whole first year of life. So they need 24 to 32 ounces of milk in a given 24 hour period for optimal growth. Okay, breast milk or formula 24 to 32 ounces. Now, if you’re bottle feeding exclusively, you can measure intake if you’re nursing exclusively and you do not have a scale to do weighted transfers, which we’ll talk about or you’re not having someone regularly monitor those at a pediatrician or lactation counselor. You’re sometimes unsure of how much milk babies getting and we’re going to talk about that and also some things you can do to make sure baby’s getting all the milk they need to grow optimally. Over the course of a 24 hour period, it is completely age appropriate that babies wake through the night to eat under the first six months of life, okay, I have babies sleep through the night as early as three months, and I have babies who start to naturally sleep through the night without the need to sleep train around six months, and it really comes down to that intake, okay, and when your child is getting the milk they need and also, do they possess the independent ability to sell to sleep, now we’re going to talk about them. Because it’s really going to be important to understand that you’re setting your child up for sleep success from birth without the need to sleep train. But if you’re at a pickle right now, and you have an infant who is just not settling to bed without being supported or not sleeping through the night, or naps are a mess, you’re in the right place, because we’re going to dive into all of that over the course of the rest of this training. But first things first, we know the intake, they need 24 to 32 ounces of milk. Okay, great. Well, we also want to look at the environment. And then we’re going to talk about what the day time should look like and how you structure the day. But an environment first always has to be safe sleep. So whether your child is in a bassinet, or crib, there should be nothing else in that crib. But then nothing. a pacifier is the only exception if they’re using one. And they can have a wearable blanket or a swaddle or swaddled transition product. Now, I love when an environment is cool. And is call, okay. Think about it. When you go to a spa. What’s the first thing most people do?

It’s relaxing, right? You’ve got it dimly lit. You’ve got blackout curtains and blinds, you’ve got some soft white noise or music in the background, right? It’s just this peaceful place that is serene and promotes relaxation. Nobody wants to go into a club to go to sleep. Right? Think about it. When you go to Vegas. First thing you do you Close those blinds because you want it to be dark and conducive to sleep. And babies sleep better when it’s a bit cooler. So I want to talk about that. optimal temperature is between 68 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit. Now, we do have a ton of resources available to help you understand how to dress baby based on where you live, what time of year it is, and whether you have things like air conditioning or not. And so you want to make sure that baby is dressed appropriately. Okay. I always say look at first and foremost, are they currently in a swaddle? Babies who are swaddled should be unspoiled by about 12 weeks or when they are showing signs of rolling because rolling can be a hazard if their arms are in and they only have to rely on their neck, which is why we talk about breathability of mattresses and neck strength. We also talk about moving arms out of that swaddle and finding a swaddle that your baby is most comfortable with. So I want to take a minute to talk about swaddles and swaddled transitions products and then wearable blankets. Because the whole first year of life with your infant, you’re going to be moving through these products, and you want to make sure you’re using them at the right time. So if you have a newborn right now and you’re in this training, and you’re trying to figure out what type of swaddles should they be using, okay, or every time you come into the nursery, their little arms are scrunched up through the swaddle and they’re sucking on their fingers. Okay, each child is going to have a different preference and it really started inside your belly. Go back and look at your ultrasound pictures. If they spent nine months with their arms above their head. They don’t want their arms necessarily swaddled down by their side. Some babies spent nine months at heart center, or did spend nine months with their arms down. And that’s going to be your first indicator of what type of swaddle you want to look for. The next thing you want to look at is again, readiness to roll. When baby is starting to roll their arms have to be out. So they do make different swaddles that allow you to start with one arm out at a time or both arms out at a time. We love the magic sleepsuit here at Tiny transitions because it’s a non weighted product that is cool and comfortable, and allows baby to sleep on their back. And it still allows them access to their fingers. They can wiggle around to find that right spot in the crib. But ultimately, it protects the startle. Okay, many babies going from a swaddle to just right into the crib in pajamas are going to experience being woken because their body is still startling, right? They’re still trying to get control over their whole system. And they don’t necessarily have that. So it’s called the Moro reflex. And what happens is they kind of startled themselves awake and kind of flinched multiple times. Overnight. Well, that means that if they don’t know how to go back to sleep independently on their own, you’re going to be required to go in do that. So that’s where we love the magic sleepsuit for that transition period, somewhere around three months of age, okay to about five or six months of age and at that point moving over to a swaddle transition sack, something like a wearable blanket, or if baby ends up being a belly sleeper, we actually love the zippity. We call it the Flying Squirrel, because it’ll protect the startle they can sleep on their belly, and it’s safe, right? Babies can sleep on their belly. When they get there on their own, we are not to place a baby ever down on their belly until they can roll and get there on their own. Okay, so on their back, hard, flat surface, nothing in the crib, but a pacifier and then some aspect of a swaddle, a swaddled transition, or a wearable blanket. Okay? Even things like the attachments to the side of the crib, I don’t love those where it’s like the sound noise machine, put it over on the dresser doesn’t need to be near the crib mobiles I find to be distracting. So I take those off, your baby will sleep well without them, I promise. So we’ve talked about the sleep environment. Now, we’ve got to understand what their needs are, what a sample schedule for your baby should be. And what’s really attainable, and, frankly, when a fixed schedule is attainable for babies. So what happens is, the first three months of life, you can loosely have a schedule. But what you’re paying attention to isn’t so much set time, it’s watching the wait window, babies sleep a whole lot, those first several months of life, they sleep and they eat and they sleep and they eat. And then occasionally, they’re gonna have some soiled diapers in there throughout the day and overnight. So again, babies are going to eat 24 to 32 ounces. Now, ideally, you want that to happen as much as you can in the day, but it’s completely age appropriate that a newborn is still waking overnight to eat. Okay. So when you’re talking about structuring the day, you’re trying to balance it around creating a little bit of consistency in order, parenting is a completely overwhelming period of your life. Especially as you’re learning your new little bundle of joy. What I recommend to all of our sleep clients is to start on a seven to seven type of day, seven o’clock wake in the morning, seven o’clock bedtime. And for the first eight weeks of life, a dream feed which we talk more about inside of the sleep Steps program, it maximizes the intake, and babies typically will do one longer stretch of sleep even from birth, and you want that longer stretch to be overnight. So getting a five or six hour stretch can be completely age appropriate based on your child after they get sorted and are home from the hospital. Now, what does it look like? Well, we talked about intake, they need 24 to 32 ounces. So you have to structure their day around one intake and two naps. So I recommend five feedings in the day, give or take right now you’re always going to feed a hungry baby. That’s why I say give or take because people always come back and go, Well, my baby was hungry and you told me not to feed them. I never said not to feed them. I’m saying that you want to be careful of feeding them too frequently because their belly is not empty. And when their belly doesn’t empty by the end of the day, what happens is I find that babies get much more discomfort. They have a witching hour, they’re crying a lot longer. There are signs of colic and almost every scenario of a private client that hires me, who says their baby has colic when I asked them if they’re feeding on demand, they say yes. Okay. So there is a difference between feeding a baby for nutrition and using a bottle or breast as the mechanism to sue that baby to sleep. Right? Or to just always be the first thing you offer, especially if a child just ate. So let me explain a little bit more about building out this schedule because I want to be very clear, you always feed a hungry baby. Okay. But what you’re looking at is, is it nutrition? Or is it habit and a lot of times what happens is when you come out of the newborn period, many parents are still feeding to sleep, that is a mechanism to fall asleep. So it’s not for nutrition. Now baby might be hungry, but they are also using that food to sleep and that’s going to create an association that you have to break. So in the daytime what I really love because I find it minimizes upset stomachs and minimizes colic is feeding on a little bit more of a schedule. So baby wakes at seven, they take a nice full feeding, and then every three hours throughout the day 710 one, four, and then seven o’clock before they go down for bed. Five full feedings in the day. For example, let’s assume each feeding is four ounces, that’s 20 ounces of milk. Okay, now remember I said they need 24 to 32 ounces of milk in a given 24 hour period. Well, a baby the first three months of life might only take five feedings with four ounces. So that means they’re probably going to wake up twice that night to eat another four ounces around one another four ounces around four or five and your baby just hit 28 ounces which is inside of that range. Now, babies who are grazing throughout the day are taking two ounce and one ounce and two ounce, one ounce and two ounce, one ounce. And by the end of the day, they’ve spent a lot more time eating, which is exerting energy. They’re often showing signs of discomfort and agitation by the end of the day, because they’re kind of tank has never had the chance to empty. And that’s where you start to see those witching hours. Now, again, I’m not saying don’t feed a baby who you believe is hungry. What you want to pay attention to is, could there be something else going on? Is there a trapped burp? Do they have gas? Is their belly hard? Are they showing crunching of their legs, something of agitation and discomfort, right, their body is still learning to work. So you have to understand how to recognize signs that perhaps they’re overtired, which is the biggest misconception, people miss it, they’re not following wake windows. And then they often are trying to figure out what’s going on a baby that sleeps better, eats better. Eating takes up energy, because it’s hard work for a baby. So you have to not discount that when they are eating so much throughout the day. That’s why I love the idea of a schedule. And I love the idea of watching those weak windows, okay, so you want to pay attention to the week Windows again, they’re gonna vary by age and stage and usually about 30 minutes every month is kind of where they move out as babies growing those first months of life. Okay, but structuring your day is going to be really important for building good sleep hygiene. What I always recommend to clients, especially as they’re kind of in that like four to five month range, where they’re taken for naps, and then they move down to three naps is doing something where there’s a balance of the first nap of the day, always going down independently, please baby in the crib, and allow them to learn to peacefully drift off to sleep, fully fed in a calm, hard flat surface of their crib at the right awake window, no tears, just laying them down when they’re ready to take a nap. And you recognize that because you’re watching awake windows, not watching for them to yawn because that means you’ve already missed the ideal window, and you lay them down and you give them the opportunity from birth to learn how to settle to sleep. Now, if you’re already outside of the first three months, this gets to be a little bit harder, because you might have some sleep associations over here that are preventing baby from doing that with naps. And inside the sleep Steps program, which is why it’s called Sleep steps. We actually start with babies over four months of age at bedtime. And we work through bedtime and overnight first, then we work through naps. And it’s very intentional. And I’ve coached 1000s of families through this. Okay. So in the past, if you’ve worked with a sleep consultant, it was like do everything on day one. I would advise against that. Here’s why baby gets overtired. excess amounts of tears, overtired. And crying is going to lead to you rescuing the nap, which then just trains them to cry until you rescue them to sleep. And it never made sense to me. It never made sense to me at all. Okay, what you want to watch is creating full feedings throughout the day. Okay, and with a baby from zero through four months, start with that first nap of the day, put them down, and give them a second to see what they do. Because you might be surprised to find that their eyes get heavy, and they drift to sleep. Congratulations, you just sleep trained your baby without any tears, right. And that’s where from a newborn standpoint, you can build that sleep hygiene over here, and less than any reliance on things over here. And then over time, naturally, sleep starts to consolidate and baby will do well, eating and waking and eating and waking when they’re supposed to overnight to eat. And then as their belly gets bigger, and they take more in the day, they will naturally without you doing anything start to sleep longer at night. Okay, so you want to manage that first nap of the day. I love it to be independent in the crib. The second nap of the day, I love to be supported. Here’s why. Because when babies are young, and they’re learning the ability to independently settle, they’re probably only going to sleep one cycle 45 to 60 minutes. Well, the problem with that is then you don’t want to have the second cycle be 45 minutes and a third cycle be 45 minutes, because by the end of the day, they will be overtired. So there’s a balance of promoting independent sleep with ensuring your child avoids overtired because that is just kryptonite going into bedtime. Okay, so the second nap of the day, I recommend that you go for a walk where you do a cuddle nap or something supported. Okay, I used to go for really long drives around the Philadelphia area is beautiful. I find country roads and I just like driving, I get out of the house a little bit, got some fresh air and baby slept or I go for walks to get a little exercise, right. And I sort of planned my day knowing that the first nap was going to be in the crib and then that second nap. Weather permitting was going to be outside either on a walk or in the car. Sometimes it was a cuddle nap. But I usually reserved that for the end of the day. And here’s why. If your baby is on for naps, I would do the first one in the crib. The second one supported the third one in the crib, independent and then the fourth one support it and you’re slowly building on it. Sleep is a skill set my friends, and when you build it slowly, when you don’t have all of the stuff over here you’ve got to decouple We’ll which we’ll talk about right, sleep will magically start to happen. Babies need to eat 24 to 32 ounces of milk, and they need the independent ability to consolidate sleep. And that is your master map for when a baby will sleep through the night. And again, that can happen at three to four months of age or six to seven months of age if a mom is exclusively nursing and isn’t quite sure what baby’s transferring, but does not have a sleep association of nursing, which we’ll talk about, right. Generally anything over six months of age, where a baby is still waking through the night, you’ve got something else going on your timings off, your intakes off, they’re feeding way too much overnight, so then they’re not eating during the day. And generally you’ve got some sleep associations that we have to work through with gentle and effective sleep coaching. Okay, so now I want to talk about bedtime. I love and love and love and will forever love early bedtimes. I’m an early riser. 5am is my jam. That is when I am up in my house every single day. And every single night I go to bed at nine o’clock. Okay? For babies, they love a set bedtime. They love consistency in a routine, because it helps them as babies start to learn what to expect. And frankly, it gives you a chance to get some things back into your day. Okay, so I wholeheartedly recommend a seven o’clock bedtime for frankly, the first several years of life, your child should have about a 30 minute bedtime. The bath can be something that is very calming, if you’re not doing a bath every day, because I get their sensitivity from a skin standpoint, at least wash their face with a warm washcloth, make sure that they’re feeling calm, and that they’re feeling comfortable. And that is something different throughout the day. That’s going to send them the signal that hey, it’s time for you, my friend to go to bed. The next thing you’re going to do is you’re going to have them in just a diaper. Yep, you heard me right, just a diaper. And you’re going to offer that final feeding for bedtime in just a diaper. Here’s why. When babies start to get warm and cozy, and they’re all swaddled up, and they’ve got their jammies on and they’re all ready to go to bed, what happens, you don’t want them to fall asleep while they’re eating, that creates an association. So you also want to make sure their bellies nice and full. And if they’re tired, it’s a little bit harder to make sure that they don’t just pass out on the boob or the bottle. So I always recommend a diaper. And it gives them a little bit of a chill, they eat a nice full feeding, you can burp them, and then you put them in their pajamas, put them in their swaddle or sleep suit, and then you lay them on their back in the crib. Now, that is going to be something that’s really really important to know, because that bedtime routine should be about 30 minutes, and then you are out of there. But you want to lay your child down at the seven o’clock time. So you don’t want to like kick things off at seven, like they want to be in that crib and lights off at seven. And they should sleep anywhere between 11 to 12 hours. Now I want to talk through total sleep needs. Okay, first two to three months of life, they need about 16 to 18 hours, lots of sleep. Okay, from four months through 12 months, the American Academy of Sleep Medicine says they need 10 to 16 hours of sleep, I have never found a child who optimizes at 10 hours of sleep, okay. And I’ve done this for a very long time. Now that 10 Could be upwards around 12 months. But even still, I don’t find that that’s an appropriate number, I find more kids really kind of fall in the range of 14 to 16 hours, that whole first year of life. Again, a little bit less as they get closer to one, but you’re still somewhere around that baseline. Okay. So what you want to look at is, how many hours do I want baby to sleep overnight, most people want a nice full night. So I always say 11 to 12 hours because they sleep in cycles. So if they go down at seven o’clock, and they sleep in 15 minute cycles, you can almost count when they’re going to wake up 750-849-3010 2011 10 Midnight 1251 4233 2410, five o’clock, 556 4730 your baby’s waking somewhere off one of those right? And that’s where you can start to also pick up habits. If baby wakes at the exact same time every night, you can often tell that it has become a habit versus a need. And here’s why. If baby’s waking the exact same time for the past several months, maybe it’s 2am. Remember what I said at the start, things start to change in that part of the night where they move from stage one and REM and they ping pong back and forth. Okay, so if your baby’s hitting that spot every single time and waking and then you are going in my question is ask yourself What are you doing to sleep? Okay? Because if it’s feeding to sleep, and then you’re repeating that multiple times a night or you’re having to rock to sleep, you likely don’t have a sleep challenge. You have a habit challenge, right? So your child can sleep but they’re under the impression that the skill they need to do that is you and that’s where we have to implement some sleep coaching and education. To get your child based on their age and stage and what they’re doing, to sleep independently and to recognize that they’re deficient in the skill over here and over slow and deliberate implementation, you can change the legal pendulum that right now is like this. And have it tip more so like this. So with that bedtime and into the overnights, what you’re watching for is deep consolidated restorative sleep if baby’s waking 45 to 60 minutes after bedtime, that’s called a false start. I always recommend if you didn’t get a birth out of them, you do double check that they don’t have a birth trapped in there. But usually those false starts have to do with overtired. And you see very quickly how a bad day time equals a bad bedtime equals a bad overnight equals an early waking which sets the day off to be bad. And you start to get in this hamster wheel of overtired which just totally derails sleep progress. Okay, with overnights, you should naturally start to see consistency where your baby’s sleeping an hour more each night, every single week. Okay, so eight weeks, eight hours is totally plausible. Okay, nine weeks, nine hours, 10 weeks, 10 hours, right? That’s where the term 12 hours by 12 weeks comes from. Now I realize many people watching this are going Hmm, well, maybe this is off, or that’s off, or you’re going through this mental checklist now going okay, well, we’ve got some things to work on. That’s okay. That’s why we’re here. But you have to understand that it’s intake based, and then ability based, right. And then assuming that the environment is set up for sleep success, if they’re in the middle of the Vegas casino floor, they’re probably not going to sleep well, right. So you got to check the conducive environment and the temperature and all those things I talked about earlier as well. But really the foundation and those two elements are the independent ability to settle and the amount of milk a child is taking. Okay, so your overnights should naturally begin to consolidate if baby wakes in the middle of the night. And let’s say you fed them at seven, and then they woke it to and they’re only like four months old, totally appropriate, they’re probably hungry. You go in, you pick them up, you immediately feed them not to sleep, but you immediately feed them nice full feed either a full bottle or both breasts, you give them a burp. And then you lay them back down to settle themselves to sleep. You want to be conscious that they’re not using that as going to sleep because now you’re building a sleep association that you’re going to have to break. Okay, now let’s assume they wake up the next time at three o’clock they just fed an hour ago. What’s happening? Well, you have to isolate what they are looking for. And this is where I talk a lot about with families want versus need. We are always accessible to our children. That is our role as parents. Okay, we want to be accessible but not excessive. And are we doing something to sleep? And that’s where I tell parents? Do they want us? Or do they need this? And if we’re not sure, you always go in and go through the checklist today of a trapped burp. Is there potentially a fever? Or they tugging on their ears? Maybe the sign of an ear infection or their hands in their mouth and they’re slobbering everywhere? Do their teeth hurt, right? Is there some other variable going on that could impact their sleep? I’ll tell you teething should only lasts two to three days not to three months and not to three years. Okay? So you want to pay attention to is it a want versus a need? And then what is your child doing or looking for? And if you start to notice repetition throughout the night of like, they only wake when I come in and rock them to sleep. They only wake when I come in and feed them to sleep you have a sleep Association, my friends, and you have to break it. Okay. Sleep regressions is my next interesting topic because I think people Google or will themselves into a sleep regression. Here’s why. Okay, sleep regressions happen when sleep was going well, and suddenly regressed? Well, why did it regress? Okay, I have many clients, myself included that have never experienced a sleep regression. Why? Because the skill of independent sleep is there. And they get the right amount of intake in the day. I’m not saying that there isn’t a time where a baby’s going to wake up and have a mole are pushing through right or wake up and have a blowout or diarrhea and it’s just trying to get out right? There are times where you go to Disney World. And for a week things are a little off. And then you come back and baby is still expecting whatever it is you were doing in Disney World, right? That isn’t a sleep regression so much as a change in the process or the pattern or the routine that caused sleep to regress, right? This happens a lot of times when kids are sick and they’ll call and say hey, my infant was doing well then they got sick. And now they won’t go to bed unless I rock them. So what happened is they prefer now to be rocked. And so it’s something that you still have to gently wean off of. So sleep progressions can happen. There’s a lot going on the first time that baby learns to stand huge developmental leap. First time baby learns to sit up or to walk or to hold the bottle or to throw things right. And so yes, there are cognitive and physical and emotional developmental things that happen. They’re totally natural. They don’t always have to cause a sleep regression. So What you want to pay attention to is not using things to sleep. And that should protect you from those sleep regressions going forward. Now, if you’re in the middle of things, and you go, Oh my gosh, we’re at eight months, and baby was waking because they were teething and they had a cold, and now they want me to rock them every single time they awake, you’ve just got to do some gentle and effective sleep training and education. And that’s going to help you get reset, you got to make sure that you’ve got the right structure in the day, that you’ve got the right timing, that you’ve got the right naps, that you’ve got the right ability, and that they understand what the expectations are, right? People always ask me, What are the sleep training methods? Do you teach this method? Do you teach that method, let me break it down for you very clearly, okay, of every sleep consultant in the entire world, it doesn’t matter who you’re talking to. There are four methods of sleep training, okay, there is what’s called the pickup put down method that can really only be used for babies between about three to four months after that, throw it away, it’ll never work, okay? Because you’re in this window where it’s appropriate, that you know, baby can learn, but also, you’re there to help them and you can pick them up and say, Hey, I love you. But I’m not going to be the thing that puts you to sleep, okay? After four months can’t do that anymore, your baby will cry incessantly for hours and hours and hours trying to use that method. So don’t, okay. The second method is staying in the room with a child, people call it the chair method, or the shuffle method or the sit back method. They’re all the same. They’re fancy acronyms. For the same thing. Does your baby want you in the room or not? And are you more stimulating? Or are you more soothing babies at different ages, at different stages, and with different personalities, all may want you in the room or may not want you in the room. And that’s one of the things that I teach you how to identify inside of the sleep Steps program. Okay, so you in the room, and then you gradually work yourself out of there, or you’re doing what’s called interval based check ins. So commonly referred to as the Ferber method or leave and check or interval based check ins, right? So it’s all the same thing, it’s specific intervals that are important to understand. Because if you’re doing that incorrectly, you’ll be in and out of there for hours, and hours, and hours, and hours, and hours and hours. Okay, so you have to understand what happens, as you’re progressing through sleep training, it is such a very small part of the overall picture of why a child doesn’t sleep well. Effective sleep training should take about three to five days to consolidate bedtime and overnight to where things are going beautifully it is at that point that you then begin to work on naps. And this is where I differ from so many of the sleep consultants, and rightfully so because I’m one of the best in the field. Because they will not care that your child is crying, okay. And I shouldn’t say that they don’t care, your child’s crying, but they’re not sitting there. And the way that they were trained because it’s the way I was trained, was that you are to do everything on day one. And after 45 minutes of a baby crying for their nap, you’re gonna go in and rock them to sleep. And all that does is reinforce that a child cries for 45 minutes, until you rock them to sleep. How is that helpful? Sleep is a skill, my friend. So I very quickly learned with a lot of experience that that way of training and that philosophy that so many teach sleep Consultants is ineffective. Here’s why no parent who is going through this wants to listen to a baby crying for hours and hours on it. I’m sorry, they don’t. And as sleep coaches, you’re not sitting there with a parent who’s dealing with this. They’re like, Well, it’d be okay. Just a couple days that is totally not something that I support here at Tiny transitions. Here’s the way we do it. Right? We start with bedtime and overnight, and sleep steps right once that’s there, the skills built my friends, sleep is a skill. And when you build that skill slowly and deliberately, guess what happens naps become much easier. So you don’t have to go through all of the pain and rigmarole that many of those sleep consultants teach, your baby will lay down to know what to expect and naps will Hashem happens so much easier, and so much more consistently. Okay, everything is connected, they need the right amount of sleep in the day to go to bed easily. They need to go to bed at the right time to sleep well through the night. And then they need the skill to go through the night and not wake up early from all of these different things, associations, highest levels of cortisol, like coming up in the morning habit. Right? All of these things create this beautiful approach. Now, the fourth method of sleep training that so many pediatricians recommend is cry it out. We don’t teach cried out here because frankly, it’s not necessary. You can gently and effectively Sleep Train a child when you understand everything I teach, okay? And it is not something that you necessarily have to do. Now there are some parents that frankly, they don’t care. That’s what they do, and that works for them. And that’s great. If that works for you. And that works for your family and you’ve worked with your pediatrician, go for it. But you have to understand that there are a million different components that we’ve just covered today and that are inside of sleep steps that help make sure you’re setting yourself up for success. And I want to talk about that expectations for success. As I talked about effective sleep training training should take about three to five days for bedtime. Then overnight, okay, then naps are going to come in. And then you’re going to have to start tweaking timing, you’re going to slowly have to move some milk, depending on the situation, right. And all of this stuff can be very complex. Now, here’s the difference between what I teach and what many others teach, okay, it is all connected. And what happens is, many times parents will buy the ebook, right? Or they’ll buy the course bundle. And they’ll get all these really great videos and asleep plan that doesn’t account for your unique baby, every baby is different. Every baby does have unique needs and their own unique personality. And sometimes it’s cost prohibitive over here, for parents to hire a private sleep coach, I spent no less than 15 to 20 hours with clients privately, there is an expense to that, because you have me one on one, and some parents want that level of support. What I found so interesting in the space, though, was, there was nothing in the middle, there’s all these sleep courses, and they’re all these Facebook ads that are like, buy my course and do this thing. And I’m like, great, you get a course, over here, you know, the variable that’s missing that no one thought about the coaching, hello, you need me. That’s why people hire us here at Tiny transitions, you need the coaching. And so what I set out to do was create a program that did not just offer a course and a written sleep plan for a couple 100 bucks. Okay. And over here, private coaching is not accessible to everyone. And my mission has always been when I started this company to never have people feel like I felt as a new mom. I was in the depths of anxiety and depression. I hated being a new mom, I was not good. I had no idea what I was doing. And I was crumbling on the inside. And I swore that as tiny transitions grew, I would create something that made coaching accessible to all families. So I developed sleep steps. It’s $47. That’s it. And it covers ages zero through four years of age, you can sleep train your whole family. For less than a cup of coffee, probably over the course of a week, coffee has gotten a little bit expensive. It is the course there are three courses, newborn infant and toddler all broken out separately. There is a written sleep plan. There is a live video course library that takes you through exactly how to implement it is based off the framework I’ve used with private clients for 10 years. There are weekly live calls with me and with my team, where we will answer your unique questions as you’re going through the sleep training journey. And there is a community that is monitored by myself Yours truly, and my team 24 hours a day, seven days a week and we get back

to you and we help you and we’ve created a community, I want you to come for the sleep. But I want you to stay for the community we have guest experts in all the time teaching you things that are going to be appropriate as your role through parenting changes. And it is all just $47 it is intentionally priced that way it will stay that price. It is the best sleep training program on the market. I’ve done this for 10 years and with 1000s of families. And I truly want sleep to be accessible to everyone and not sacrifice quality, and not sacrifice coaching. And you all need a community because we all didn’t have a village when our children were born. So I invite you to take a look at sleep steps and to learn more about this amazing program. And I’ll see you out there when you are ready to join. But what I want you to remember is right now you have to look at a step back, look at all of the different things that are impacting your infant’s day, and make the decision when you are ready to conquer sleep. And when you’re ready. I’m going to be here waiting for you. Thank you so much for tuning into this training. I hope that you found it incredibly beneficial, incredibly educational, and incredibly helpful. I’m on a mission to change the way the world sleeps. And I hope I get to see you inside of sleep steps. Thanks so much for tuning in. My name is Courtney Zentz. Again, the founder of tiny transitions and the creator of the sleep Steps program. Learn more about sleep steps or working with our team here at Tiny transitions.com and have a beautiful rest of the day. Bye for now. One more thing before you go. Did you know that we offer the industry’s first affordable and effective self paced sleep coaching program that includes time with a pediatric sleep expert here on the tiny transitions team. It’s the industry’s first and only membership program like this that you can cancel anytime. And the best part. It’s cheaper than a cup of coffee every single day. So say goodbye to the ebooks and courses that are not helping your child sleep better. And join sleep steps today. The most comprehensive sleep education you need to get everyone sleeping through the night. Learn more by visiting tiny transitions.com