Reclaiming Your Bed

Apr 1, 2019

Before I had my first child, I was so excited about the idea of co-sleeping. I had these visions of my partner and I sleeping peacefully with our little baby snuggled oh-so peacefully between us. Those first few dreamy moments in the morning when we looked at each other over the little miracle we had created.

The reality was somewhat less romantic because apparently, babies like to move around a little when they sleep.

And they can also make a lot of noise.

And they have no respect for your personal space, or the fact that you’re trying to get a little sleep, or the fact that you don’t like being woken up by having a tiny finger jammed up your nose.

So after a while, I decided it was time to reclaim my bed, but by then, baby had gotten fairly accustomed to sleeping next to me and wasn’t going without a little protest.

So if you’re in the same situation and are looking for a way to get your baby sleeping in their own room, allow me to offer up some helpful hints.

First off, prepare yourself for the resistance. Nobody reacts well to changes in their sleep routine, so there’s almost definitely going to be some push-back. If your little one is able to climb out of their crib, they’ll probably make a few late-night trips into your room and attempt to climb back into bed with you.

When this happens, don’t get upset. Keep your cool and walk them back into their room. Explain that they’re not allowed to sleep in your bed and let them know what the consequence will be if they do it again. (Side note a great consequence for this is closing their bedroom door for a minute or two if they leave their room. I’ve used this one myself and it’s been super effective.)

On the positive side of things, you might want to set up a reward program for good nights spent in their own bed. A treat or a sticker on the calendar can be a great incentive, but keep the time window short. Kids have a hard time understanding rewards if they’re expected to maintain a behavior for a full week, so a daily reward usually works best.

The other way to soften the blow of moving your little one into their own room is to stay in their room with them for a few nights while they’re making the change. Don’t rock them to sleep or engage with them while they’re drifting off, as this can create an association issue, but feel free to sit in a chair while they’re falling asleep so they can see that you’re there, and gradually start working your way out earlier and earlier.

Again, there’s probably still going to be a little bit of crying, but once your baby gets the hang of sleeping in their own room, your whole family can look forward to much more restful nights, and far fewer wakeups from an unintentional kick to the face.

From your baby, anyways. I can’t promise anything from your partner.

Sleep can be a challenge and we are always here to help with great free training, downloads, and resources. Join my free Slumber Made Simple Facebook Group, I host monthly free training on Newborn Sleep and for children from 4 months through 5 years in my Save Your Sanity Sleep Bootcamp, and share my secrets to sleep in my 7 Tips for Restful Sleep Guide, which you can access here and start changing your sleep today! Also, check out my Instagram where you can get even more tips and tricks for successful sleep!

My name is Courtney Zentz, a Pediatric Sleep Consultant from Philadelphia, PA, Postpartum Doula, Lactation Counselor and founder of Tiny Transitions. As an award-winning sleep consultant, I help exhausted parents teach their infants & toddlers to sleep well every night with gentle, customized solutions and both group and private coaching options, so your family can all be at their best. Based in Philadelphia, I work in-home and virtually to provide the support families around the globe that need to all be at their best. Join me in my Slumber Made Simple Facebook group, where you can ‘meet’ me in my live weekly Q&As, get valuable free content and build a healthy sleeper for life!