As a new parent, you may find yourself navigating through various options for nighttime sleep arrangements with your baby. One approach that often sparks curiosity and concern is co-sleeping, also known as bed-sharing.
In this blog post, we will delve into what co-sleeping entails, why the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has reservations about it, explore the concept of safe bed-sharing, discuss the possibility of safe co-sleeping with a baby, provide perspectives from other practitioners, parents, and contributors, including how to transition away from co-sleeping when the timing is right.
What is co-sleeping or bed-sharing?
Co-sleeping refers to the practice of parents and infants sharing the same sleeping surface, such as a bed. It involves the physical proximity of the baby and parents during sleep, facilitating breastfeeding, comforting, and nurturing throughout the night.
Why does the AAP shy away from co-sleeping?
The AAP takes a cautious stance on co-sleeping due to safety concerns. They highlight the increased risk of accidental suffocation, entrapment, or sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) associated with bed-sharing, particularly when certain factors are present, such as soft bedding, pillows, or excessive bedding.
Is there any form of “safe bed-sharing” or “co-sleeping?”
While the AAP recommends room-sharing without bed-sharing, acknowledging that some families still choose to bed-share, they provide guidelines for reducing the associated risks. These include using a firm mattress, removing pillows, blankets, and other soft bedding, ensuring that the sleeping surface is free of gaps or hazards, and avoiding bed-sharing if parents smoke, have consumed alcohol or drugs, or are excessively tired.
Can I safely co-sleep with a baby?
If you decide to co-sleep, it’s crucial to be well-informed and take precautions to enhance safety. Discussing your choice with your pediatrician can provide further guidance tailored to your specific situation. Additionally, maintaining open communication with your partner and following safe sleep practices are essential for reducing risks.
We have taken the liberty of reaching out to contributors about their perspectives through the ages and stages of our littles, let’s hear what they have to say.
This is a tricky question, as many parents have differing views on what age is just right for transitioning their child to sleeping on their own. Continue reading to see what insights our readers had to offer…
Julia M. Chamberlain
Start the Transition by Age One
Co-sleeping with an infant can feel like the best way to keep the baby safe for many parents.
It is natural to feel that having your baby close to you is the best place for them. It also can feel daunting to explore all of the safety measures that relate to babies and toddlers about their sleep environment in efforts of preventing SIDS, suffocation, and other dangerous circumstances. Yet, some research suggests that co-sleeping can also carry risks and the AAP discourages co-sleeping, especially for children under 4 months of age.
This is in part due to concerns of suffocation as well as developing psychological issues such as depression, anxiety, and boundary issues as the baby matures. However, newer studies have suggested that babies who have co-slept with their parents during the newborn phase do not carry any additional risks of developing a mental health concern. However, by the age of one, a child should be transitioning into their own sleeping space to allow an emerging sense of self and foster independent, and solution-focused thinking long-term.
When we allow our children to share our space for too long, they run the risk of becoming codependent or enmeshed with parental figures. and this can damage their adjustment both short-term and long-term. If parents feel strongly that they wish to co-sleep with their baby, using a Moses basket in the bed between parents can be a safe alternative. Creating a plan for the child to transition to their own space by the age of one allows for the emergence of self-soothing and other solution-focused behaviors which are tied to well-adjusted adulthood.
Teach Your Child Little by Little to Become Independent
Sharing a bed with your child can have a good impact since he can be attached with you more and he can be more secure and may sleep soundly beside you. When you reach the point where you think this is the time that you have to teach your son how to sleep in his own bed, consider it. Teach him little by little how to be independent especially if you are already working away from home.
Mo Mulla
Eden Cheng
Stop Co-Sleeping with Your Baby at Age Two
Co-sleeping is often a common occurrence during the first two years of a baby’s life. This often involves either sharing a bed with the child or having their bed or crib in the same room. It is an essential method that is used by most parents to help kids feel less stressed at night. And while there is no question that there are numerous health benefits, it is always best to end co-sleeping by the end of age two at the latest. This is because the longer you wait to end the practice the more likely there will be long-term effects.
For one, it can often lead to your child suffering from a lack of self-soothing skills. This means that they will be unable to fall asleep on their own, which can often lead to an increased amount of stress and even risk of insomnia. Moreover, the child in question may end up having trouble forming relationships with other people in their adult life, because they ended up forming an extreme emotional attachment to their parents. It isn’t always the case, but it does happen, especially if the co-sleeping practice extends beyond the age of two.
Moreover, there is a chance that the child may end up with increased levels of anxiety and stress as they grow older and start to sleep on their own. Since they were so used to having someone to rely on when sleeping, once they start to transition to sleeping independently, they may start to struggle to calm themselves down, even as an adult.
There is also a chance that the child’s general development will be stunted as they get older and struggle to form their own identity. This is because while most children learn to independently develop their own identities, if the child continues to co-share the bed with their parent, that cannot happen.
Let Your Child Sleep on Their Own by Age Five
Parents should introduce sleeping in their own spaces as early as five years old. This is when they are fully grown, and still young enough to get used to the norm of having their bed and space. While there are situations that require co-sleeping, such as the lack of a bed and rooms, co-sleeping can cause your child to be very dependent on you, which may prevent them from growing up and learning things on their own.
Co-sleeping beyond five years old, can increase the chances of a child developing unhealthy habits such as refusing to consider the value of privacy, and being too needy. Also, the general rule of thumb is that when kids start to enter school, they should be more exposed to being independent to allow them to discover how they want things to work out for themselves and not always rely on their parents. This is when they can figure out things, and practice making decisions as well.
Sherry Morgan
Brandon Walsh
Stop Bedsharing When Your Child Is One-Year-Old
Co-sleeping and bedsharing with your child are good for their safety and security, but this should stop very early in their age for their personal development and growth, both physical and psychological. Parents who share a bed or room with their children negatively affect the chances of their kid’s mental and physical well-being as they grow up.
Surveys and studies suggest that kids who sleep with their parents suffer from low self-esteem, high dependency, anxiety, low memory, and suffer from obesity as well. In the given scenario, I would suggest parents stop sleeping with kids when they reach one year of age, because this is the age when infants start to develop habits and their learning process starts to become more efficient. Sleeping with them after this age will make them develop a habit of depending on you for everything.
In conclusion, if you are going to co-sleep, here are things to consider:
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- Ensure a safe sleep environment: Remove pillows, blankets, and any other potential hazards from the bed, and use a firm mattress.
- Keep baby’s sleep space separate: Consider using a co-sleeping bassinet or sidecar sleeper that attaches securely to the adult bed, providing a dedicated space for the baby while maintaining proximity.
- Individual circumstances matter: Factors such as parental smoking, alcohol consumption, drug use, and exhaustion significantly increase the risks associated with co-sleeping.
- Assess these risks honestly before making a decision.
- Educate yourself: Stay informed about safe sleep practices, monitor the baby’s position and safety throughout the night, and familiarize yourself with the signs of sleep-related issues or distress.
Transitioning away from co-sleeping can be a gradual process. Consider establishing a consistent bedtime routine, introducing a separate sleep space like a crib or bassinet in your room, or gradually moving the baby to their own room.
Each family’s journey will be unique, so be patient and responsive to your baby’s cues during this transition.
Co-sleeping can be a personal decision for families, but safety should always be paramount. While the AAP advises against bed-sharing due to potential risks, it is crucial to understand and implement safe sleep practices if you choose to co-sleep. Open communication with healthcare professionals, staying informed about best practices, and being attentive to your baby’s well-being will help ensure a safe and comfortable sleep environment for everyone.
At Tiny Transitions, we understand the challenges and frustrations that come with sleep issues, especially when it involves your precious little ones. That’s why we’re here to offer our expertise and support to help you transform your home into a haven of restful nights and rejuvenating days.
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This is a crowdsourced article. Contributors are not necessarily affiliated with this website and their statements do not necessarily reflect the opinion of this website, other people, businesses, or other contributors.
